My thought are my thoughts. They are not intended to meet your criteria. I write for myself.
It’s rare you get moments in a moment to express how you feelMaybe I sound desperate but damnit I do not care.
But as I’m sitting here, in his room while he’s in the shower, I must write
I’m enraged with emotions
Lust at the top of the list.
He’s beautiful and the idea of his body against mine literally makes my stomach turn, but in a good way.
I lost his scent, his biceps, the ink in his skin.
He’s beautiful, truly beautiful.
But he’s coming back so I must go.
Only to hope for the caress I have been longing for
I struggle with wanting you all the time, so please don’t mistake my silence for indifference. It’s just I have to hold myself back because I feel too much. Too often. Too wildly out of my control.
Don’t try to picture everything bad that could possibly happen. Stick with the situation at hand and ask, “Why is this so unbearable? Why can’t I endure it?” You’ll be embarrassed to answer. Then remind yourself that past and future have no power over you. Only the present.
— The Meditations - Marcus Aurelius (via creatingaquietmind)
Have you ever attempted to detach yourself from someone you invested so much time into?
You know you are lingering, that you shouldn’t stay but the idea of one minute with them is better than an infinity without.
So you stay.
Because they never actually told you to leave but their lack of interest makes it too loud to ignore.
You know you are no longer welcome,
You know they would be nearly unaffected if you were to walk away.
But you stay for that hope.
That hope that it’s your insecurities messing with your mind.
“They want me around, they’re just busy.”
You deserve better but are afraid to go back to the drawing board so you stay.
You stay and you stay dormant.
I’m so pathetically sensitive and I wish I wasn’t. I’m embarrassingly insecure and I overanalyze and overthink things that I shouldn’t worry about. I wonder how many things my weaknesses have ruined. Things that could have turned out great but I was too weak to handle. I’m constantly trying to get better and stronger, and I do. But I sometimes wonder if there is a certain level of weakness that I will never be able to escape.
— (via i-am-sanchez)